We have a house, we think

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The next house we found, a HUD sale, in a nice quiet neighborhood.  Within our zip code requirement, with about the amount of interior work we believed we could handle.

HUD purchase, what a process. The bidding (offer) is done on-line ... nothing verbal, no one to talk to, no one to negotiate with. No one to ask questions  ... 
Remember, it's the Federal Government. Here to help you. 


In 24 hrs (or thereabouts) their big server either accepts or declines your offer.  First one, declined, second one accepted. 


OK, let the games begin. Escrow money, contract signed. We think not so bad, "we're rolling now" ... close in a month and we're off to the races!  Whoa nelly, not so fast.


The process is filled with road-blocks ... yes, you can do an inspection, but you get to turn the utilities back on ( and we pay the turn-on/off fees that utilities charge), and yes, even though we are set to close in 2 weeks, you are gonna smack us with a "re-winterization fee" (another fee-builder by HUD with no human being to say whoa, stop!).


And, fill out this form and e-mail it back. Did you get it, Seller Atty's? Silence.
And fill out this OTHER form and e-mail it back. Did you get it, Seller's Atty? Silence.
Oh, we forgot to send you THIS form ... fill it out and e-mail it back. Did you get it, Seller's Atty? Silence.


Here is a HUD-1 Form. Wire us the money NOW.
Um, the HOA fees are missing, Seller's Atty, you need to re-do.
Silence.
Here is another HUD-1 Form. Wire us money NOW.
Um, the closing date is wrong, Seller's Atty, you need to re-do.
Silence


Here is yet another HUD-1 Form. Wire us money NOW.
OK, do we have a firm closing date and time? 
Silence.


Hurry up and wait ... 
Show up at the closing. Seller realtor doesn't show. 
(guess you just want your check, right Darlin'?) 
Seller Hired-Gun-Local-Atty: Sorry, problems. All the people on the Seller's side didn't approve. And the HOA amount is wrong. HUD-1 still wronge ... 


Um, but you have ALL our $ already. Let's try again tomorrow.


So anticlimactic.
Oh, and by the way, you don't get keys. Yes, that's right, no keys. You get to hire a locksmith! What a racket. AND you get to break the padlock that secures the garage door.
 No key for that either. Remember, it's the Government.


Yay, we have a house we can't get into.